Your biggest regret (and how to avoid it)

“Nothing in life is as important as you think it is when you are thinking about it.”

Bronnie Ware worked with terminally ill patients.

As a palliative nurse, it was Ware's job to enhance quality of life for her patients — to manage pain, to offer support, to provide comfort in their dying days.

In 2009, Ware wrote a blog, “Regrets of the Dying.”

The No. 1 regret of her patients was this:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Perspective often comes when it's too late.

Ware’s insights revealed a common theme. Of the top 5 regrets, 4 were about things people hadn’t done. Only 1 — working too hard — was a regret about something they had done.

So here’s what I want you to do:

Stop skimming this post.

Seriously. Take a second. Look away. Breathe.

Now ask yourself this:

What is the No. 1 thing I want to do in my life?

Ok. Got that 1 thing in mind?

Now ask yourself this:

Why am I not doing it?

Here’s my guess:

When you answered No. 2, you said something like, “Well, I would do it, but …”

• “Money is an issue.”

• “What will everyone else think?"

• “It won't work because of XYZ.”

I know! I get it. I did it too.

“Yeah, I should be writing. You’re right. But it doesn’t pay as well as finance. Idk.”

But after half a decade of stubbornness I hit my breaking point. And I did it. And here’s what I learned:

Anything that follows “but” is an excuse.

You probably don’t realize it, but it’s not money or status or family that’s holding you back. It’s security. Most people aren't willing to take a risk because they're not sure how it'll turn out.

Stability is comfortable. Uncertainty is terror.

Whenever a rogue collection of neurons starts to entertain the idea of pursuing a crazy dream, we get a dopamine rush. But then our “rational” brain takes over. And those dreamer neurons get locked back in their cage until they muster up enough courage to start shouting again.

• Nothing is stopping you but your own limiting beliefs.

• You are capable of so much more than you realize.

• Inaction breeds regret. Action promises growth.

As behavioral economist Daniel Kahneman says, “Nothing in life is as important as you think it is when you are thinking about it.”

Taking leaps of faith is hard because we’re conditioned to seek security. But how much different would life be if you had 20/20 foresight? If you knew you'd make it work?

It’s hard to take risks. It’s scary to pursue dreams. It’s almost paralyzing to step off the assembly line of eat-sleep-work-die.

Almost.

You have more options than you realize.

You are more adaptable than you realize.

You have an infinite number of paths available to you, and keeping yourself glued to the one that gives comfort but saps individuality is a surefire way to look back at life through regret-tinted glasses.

What would you do if you had the benefit of end-of-life perspective today?

How would you live differently?

Who could you be?

Find out.

You only get one shot at life.

Might as well make the most of it.