What Thomas Jefferson, Kid Cudi and Will Smith All Got Wrong

"I'll be fine once I get it" is a good lyric — but a bad mindset.

In the first sentence of the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence, the Founding Fathers wrote an idea you should run far away from. 

“[All men have] certain unalienable Rights, among these are ... the Pursuit of Happiness.”

“The Pursuit of Happiness.”

It’s a phrase that has sunk so far into the American subconscious that it almost ceases to have meaning.

Which is a shame.

Because it should be examined.

And rejected.

A 2016 study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology focused on the pursuit of happiness. And it found that the more you pursue happiness, the less likely you are to get it.

In fact, in the U.S., chasing happiness is linked to higher levels of unhappiness. 

Distress. 

Frustration. 

Dissatisfaction.

And isn't that always the case in life? The harder we chase something, the more elusive it becomes.

• Try too hard to fall asleep and you’ll be counting sheep until the rooster crows.

• Pursue a relationship too aggressively and you’ll soon be texting a ghost.

• Force yourself to relax and you’ll ratchet your anxiety to DEFCON 1. 

Happiness is the same.

And you know this. Because you’ve heard it said that, “happiness is a journey, not a destination.”

But you still convince yourself that you’ll be happy — just as soon as that next thing happens.

Modern-day philosopher Naval Ravikant has a quote I love:

“Desire is a contract we make with ourselves to be unhappy until we get what we want.” 

Whenever I examine my desires, I notice that happiness is the driver. But every time I accomplish the next goal, a new unchecked box appears. Something else I want to do. Somewhere else I want to see. Another problem I have to solve.

THEN, I'll finally be happy. 

“But Adam, desire is important. If I didn’t want things, I wouldn’t be motivated, right?”

Right.

But there’s a difference between desire for outcome and desire for process.

When we desire an outcome, we create that unwinnable, eternally looping contract that always puts happiness a tantalizing few inches out of our reach.

But when you desire and appreciate the process, you can enjoy the journey. You can detach from the outcome. You can find satisfaction in attempting something new, in having fresh experiences, in failing, learning and progressing.

Humans have been trying to crack the happiness equation since Thales of Miletus scribbled “know thyself” on the Temple of Apollo around 600 BC. We’re probably not going to solve it in this blog post.

But here’s what some of the brightest philosophical minds in history have agreed upon: 

Pursuing happiness guarantees it will elude you.

Socrates said, “The secret of happiness is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”

Stop chasing happiness. 

Start finding it in the journey.

There’s more of it in the everyday than in the someday, anyway.