The Thousand-Fiber Paradox

"We cannot live for ourselves."

I probably won’t ever achieve my wildest dreams.

Neither will you.

Don’t worry — this gets better.

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I was talking to a friend recently who’s a high-level athlete.

She’s currently training to reach the CrossFit Games. To give you a sense of how difficult that is, it's like winning a game of "Find the Needle in the Haystack” where the hay is 200 lbs and a few thousand other people are also looking for the needle.

Here’s what she said:

“We always know there’s a big chance we might not make it, but we choose to pursue it anyway. 

And there’s not much money in it even if we do make it. In fact, we pay to go. 

This is the same for fighters, or any other professional athlete.

They might train all year and never fight, or train all year and get knocked out in round one. 

Or train all year and get injured.

So why do we all keep pursuing these huge dreams even when the chances are so small?”

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“Why do we all keep pursuing these huge dreams even when the chances are so small?”

It’s a hard question to answer.

• Most of us don’t share the same dreams.

• Most of us don’t pursue our dreams with the same vigor.

• It’s hard to assign logic to something that is, by definition, illogical.

Take me, for example.

I want to be the next great American author. I want to write a book that’s talked about for generations alongside Steinbeck and McCarthy and Twain.

That’s my wildest dream. And it’s illogical. I don’t have the same talent as The Greats. And even if I did, reaching a level that lofty would require loads of luck.

I know it’s not going to happen.

I’m still going to try.

But … Why?

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Everyone’s motivations are different.  

• For some, it’s the value of the journey. 

• For some, it’s the thrill of the challenge. 

• For some, it’s wanting to discover what they’re capable of.

The journey, of course, has value.

Growth is not all-or-nothing — you don’t have to reach the peak for the pursuit to be prosperous. Life is about exploration and failure, limits and learnings.

But as I was thinking about it, I ran across a quote from Herman Melville that made me think the answer to this question is a paradox.

“We cannot live only for ourselves,” Melville said. “A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”

It’s a paradox because your wildest dream is one of your most defining characteristics. It’s you — at your naked, honest, most vulnerable core.

But when you openly pursue your dream and live in a way that makes your passion clear to everyone else, you never know who you’ll reach.

So you set your sights — and your life — on a goal. But the greatest value in that deeply personal goal may be the impact it has on the people around you.

The reality?

You probably won’t ever achieve your wildest dreams. Neither will I.

But by pursuing them, you’ll inspire others to pursue theirs. You’ll be a spark that turns into a flame that turns into a quiet-but-crackling fire, leaping from person to person as the wind blows you across their paths. Instead of just impacting yourself, you’ll impact the world.

And what dream could be more admirable than that?