The Stranglers vs. The Wranglers

"We become what we think."

Nearly a century ago at the University of Wisconsin, the Stranglers and the Wranglers met.

Both were student groups made up of the best literary talents on campus.

Both groups had the same goal — to make themselves better writers.

But their methods?

Their methods had nothing in common.

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The Stranglers, an all-male club, preferred verbal violence. One member would share the story or essay he had written.

The others would listen, then attack.

No criticism was too harsh.

Ruthlessness was encouraged.

Each writing sample was dismantled, drawn, and quartered.

By breaking down, the Stranglers thought, they would build back stronger.

The Wranglers were all women. Like the Stranglers, they also read their writing at meetings. But their feedback was different. They voiced almost no criticism. Efforts were encouraged. Each writing sample was appreciated, supported, and valued.

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Twenty years later, a classmate followed up with a report on his peers. Where were they now?

In literary circles, the Stranglers were nowhere to be found. Their potential had been choked out.

Meanwhile, the Wranglers littered the literary landscape. Headlined by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, half a dozen Wranglers had carved out successful writing careers.

The Stranglers, who opted for fierce floods of fault-finding, sowed seeds of self-doubt. The Wranglers, who doled out heaping helpings of encouragement, convinced each other they had what it took.

Simply put:

We reach our potential when we believe our capabilities exceed our highest level of success.

And we believe in our capabilities when we’re convinced of their potential by those we respect.

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Thousands of years before the Stranglers and the Wranglers ever put pen to paper, these concepts made their way into the world.

“We are shaped by our thoughts. We become what we think.” — Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)

“A new command I give you: Love one another.” — John 13:34

We become what we think, yes. But what we think comes from what we hear. Constructive criticism has its place, but self-confidence feeds on external admiration and acceptance.

Success begins in our thoughts.

And our thoughts begin with our experiences.

A few words to the right person at the right time can create the spark for life-changing momentum.

Give it a shot.

Remember: If something has held true for 2,500 years, it’s likely to still be true tomorrow.