L'appel du vide

When the void calls, you don't have to answer

Jun 19, 2024

Peering over the rim of the Grand Canyon at 11 years old, I had a thought:

“Jump.”

I was happy as could be. No deep-rooted dissatisfaction. No anger at the universe. No desire to cannonball off the cliff.

But my brain still said it.

“Jump.”

The French have a phrase — ”l’appel du vide.” In English, “the call of the void.” I’m sure you’ve experienced it.

You’re on the deck of a cruise ship, and you think about becoming Mark Spitz.

You’re driving over a bridge, and you think of going all Thelma-and-Louise.

You’re on a hike, and you consider testing your inner Mary Poppins.

You have no desire to actually follow through on diving or swerving or jumping, but your brain still sends you a push notification to consider it.

So you look at those thoughts, you identify that they’re irrational, and you nuke them into orbit.

You are not your thoughts.

In 1986, American author Byron Katie had an epiphany.

“I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and this is true for every human being.”

Later, Katie wrote:

“An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering.”

Another way I like to put this:

A lot of your thoughts are nonsense.

If you don’t question your thoughts, you accept your thoughts. But, as we know from l’appel du vide, many of your thoughts are irrational.

Your brain isn’t always on your side.

Researchers estimate the average person makes about 35,000 conscious decisions a day. That doesn’t mean you have 35,000 thoughts. That means you have enough thoughts each day to merit making 35,000 decisions.

How many thoughts does that equate to? Millions? Billions? Effectively, an infinite number of thoughts.

Do you think all those thoughts are correct? Beneficial? Useful?

The odds aren’t in your favor.

Now, the point here isn’t to convince yourself all your negative thoughts are wrong.

Some thoughts — like shame, guilt, or remorse — serve a purpose in alerting us something needs to change.

But some thoughts are just … wrong.

The trick isn’t in ignoring your thoughts — it’s in training yourself to objectively identify them, step back, and question their validity.

Rather than accept everything as fact, remind your brain that your brain isn’t always operating in the best interests of your brain.

In short:

You’re always told not to believe everything you hear.

So why should you believe everything you think?

(P.S. To be clear, this topic has enough to unpack to get us through a 4-week safari trip. Anytime you discuss the relationship between thoughts and actions, you have to acknowledge and consider mental health as a significant part of the conversation.)