How to get the most out of life

Stop introducing. Start meeting.

In 1923, Jewish philosopher Martin Buber wrote 5 words you should remember for the rest of your life.

 “All real living is meeting.”

I recently stumbled across the idea that there are two types of people:

- ”Here I Am” people

-  “There You Are” people

“Here I Am” people enter a room and wait for others to notice them.

They wait to be asked questions. They prioritize their own needs. They act on their own desires and talk in terms of their own interests.

“There You Are” people enter a room and notice others. They ask questions. They’re interested in your desires and desire to talk about your interests.

It’s easy to be a “Here I Am” person.

But it also strangles your potential.

And dulls your life.

Let’s go back to Buber’s quote:

“All real living is meeting.”

To me, Buber is saying that life is defined by the quality of your interactions with others.

Buber doesn’t say “all real living is talking” or “all real living is bragging.”

He says “all real living is meeting.”

And if that’s true, “Here I Am” people don’t really live.

See, “Here I Am” people don’t experience meeting. They expect others to meet them, but meeting isn’t a one-sided affair.

Meeting requires two parties. “Here I Am” only involves one.

But “There You Are” people experience the opposite.

They sacrifice the short-term rush of acknowledgment and admiration in exchange for the long-term benefits of relationships and learning.

“There You Are” people don’t make themselves known — they make others known to them.

And by hiding how great they are, they become better.

Ironic, right?

See, “Here I Am” people go through life in a self-destructive hall of mirrors that reflects and amplifies their thoughts, views, and achievements.

And as a result, the rebounding noise and imagery of their own successes grows so loud and so overwhelming that there’s no room to discover what others have to offer.

They can’t hear properly. They can’t see clearly. So they don’t grow.

But “There You Are” people improve — because they forget themselves.

By focusing on others, “There You Are” people reap the rewards “Here I Am” people desire.

- “Here I Am” people want greatness. But they limit themselves by disregarding others.

- “Here I Am” people want respect. But no one holds narcissism in high regard.

- “Here I Am” people want recognition. But people are reluctant to feed pride.

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- “There You Are” people make themselves better by learning the best parts of others.

- “There You Are” people earn respect because of their lack of self-interest.

- “There You Are” people are loved because of their humility.

“There You Are” people experience real living because they focus on meeting.

Want to be great?

Be a "There You Are” person.

And remember those 5 words:

“All real living is meeting.”