How to find freedom

Heaven can be hell, hell can be heaven.

What comes to mind when you think of freedom?

Fresh off Memorial Day, maybe you get a flash of red, white and blue. Of soldiers and heroes. Of sacrifice and courage.

If you’re a movie buff, maybe you see Mel Gibson as William Wallace, bellowing “FREEDOM” with his dying breath but his eternal soul.

But for me, freedom has morphed into a new shape recently.

You know the story by now. In 2022, I ditched the cubicle, moved to Hawaii and started my own business.

Those are pretty drastic actions. I’ve had a lot of people ask why I took them. In a word? Freedom.

I didn’t want to work for someone else. I didn’t want to be told to go to an office. I didn’t want to be tied to a place for a W2. I wanted to live on my terms. I wanted freedom.

And you know what I’ve found? I had it all wrong. The things I thought were constricting me — my job, my location, my responsibilities — had no bearing on my freedom.

See, I’ve visited 49 states, 16 countries and three continents. But I’ve lived my entire life in my own head. And when you do that? It’s impossible to be free.

It doesn't matter if you’re selling or teaching or writing. If you’re thinking about how great you are, it’s impossible to be free.

It doesn’t matter if you’re grabbing a coffee in Hawaii or Michigan or Tennessee. If you’re worried about how you look, it’s impossible to be free.

It doesn’t matter if you’re lifting weights or scrolling Instagram or checking your bank account. If you’re comparing yourself to others, it’s impossible to be free.

During the last 12 months, I’ve experienced total location, professional and personal freedom. But the only times I felt that freedom were the times it was impossible to think about myself. Jumping out of an airplane at 10,000 feet. Snorkeling between sharks. Lost in a Stephen King book.

In those moments, I didn’t exist. In those moments, I was free. 

The concept of freedom through surrender has existed for at least 2,300 years. In Taoism, it’s the idea of “wu wei” — effortless action. Wu wei is the principle of aligning yourself with the natural flow of the universe. Choosing to work in harmony instead of fighting to control outcomes.

British philosopher Alan Watts tied wu wei into freedom, arguing freedom can only be achieved by letting go of self-consciousness and ego-driven desires. Freedom, Watts said, is spontaneity. Freedom is surrender. Freedom is presence.

To me, that means captivity and freedom and are brothers — equally possible in every circumstance. One nurtures ego. The other slaughters it. And they’re not determined by external factors — it's up to your mind to determine which you’ll experience.

As John Milton wrote in Paradise Lost, “The mind is its own place and in it you can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

So get out of there. 

Be present. 

Focus on others, focus on beauty, focus on the smallest seconds of serenity.

True freedom is forgetting yourself.

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