Breaking Your 4-Minute Mile
Why comparison is not the thief of joy
Physiologists told Roger Bannister running a 4-minute mile would kill him.
So Bannister ran it in 3:59.4.
46 days later, John Landy broke Bannister’s record with a 3:57.9 mile.
45 years after that, Moroccan runner Hicham El Geurrouj did it in 3:43:13 — a record that stand to this day.
People say, “Comparison is the thief of joy”.
I disagree.
Comparison is the bringer of progress.
Instagram launched on October 6, 2010.
In 2011, it hit 10 million users.
In 2012, Google searches for “Comparison is the thief of joy” started to tick up.
Coincidence? Maybe. Probably not.
Either way, that phrase — “Comparison is the thief of joy” — has cemented itself on the Mount Rushmore of Millennial Sayings, right alongside “Live your best life”, “Work-life balance”, and “I swear SportsCenter used to be good.”
But that phrase is a cop-out.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” is silly for two reasons:
It’s impossible to adhere to.
You know what’s the most human thing in the world?
Comparing yourself to others.
You know what’s impossible to avoid?
Comparing yourself to others.
When you tell yourself, “Comparison is the thief of joy”, you end up comparing yourself anyway, and then wondering why you can’t stop comparing yourself to others as well as they can.
It denies you the value of growing from other peoples' accomplishments.
The only reason John Landy was able to break Roger Bannister’s mile time was because compared himself to Bannister. He saw what Bannister had done — and he believed he could do better.
But without that comparison, would he ever have achieved his full potential?
When I quit my job to start writing online, I did it because I had the same thought on repeat in my head:
“Those people are doing it, and there’s just no way they’re that much better than me.”
All emotions serve a purpose.
Envy tells you that you want what someone else has.
When you compare yourself to someone and you feel envy, that might be a sign that it’s worth making decisions or changes that get you closer to bringing whatever that person has into your life.
I understand this is a slippery slope. Comparison is the thief of joy, they say, because it makes us blind to the blessings we have.
But comparison can be healthy if we keep 2 things in mind:
Jealousy cannot take over.
When you feel envy, note what it’s telling you: “I want that.”
Then, be mindful enough to be happy that someone else has it. What a cool thing for them.
No life exists in a vacuum.
You want their salary?
Cool, you get their stress, their work hours, and their strained relationships.
You can’t pretend the best part of someone’s life exists without the caveats that created it in the first place.
Comparison is a blinking dashboard indicator that tells you what you want out of life.
So yes, compare yourself to others.
Compare yourself to others so you can understand what you want.
Compare yourself to others to motivate yourself to reach your full potential.
Compare yourself to others so you can better appreciate and applaud what they’ve done.
You might not believe you can run your 4-minute mile.
But maybe you can —
You just need to see someone do it first.
I agree that comparisons can be the thief of joy and lead to personal misery.
In all my years virtually anytime I came across someone that I envied, for whatever reason, I came to learn I didn't envy them at all.
But there is the other way you can leverage comparisons as you point out.
Those people do have that "thing" I needed or desired. I therefore could learn from them and even use my "envy" to drive me.
I could also learn how to avoid the negative consequences they suffer by attaining what I desire.
Great post and insight, Adam.