2,390 miles

Everyone is closer than you think.

I used to work 2,390 miles away from the nearest mainland.

I’ve never felt more connected to the world.

I was a tour guide on a remote coffee farm. Every day, guests would come from all over the planet for a quick cup of 100% Kona coffee. They usually ended up listening to me squawk at them for an hour.

During my opening spiel, I’d share my “I’m-Here-Because-I’m-Going-Through-A-Quarter-Life-Crisis” story.

And after almost every tour, someone would come up to me and say:

“I feel the exact same way.”

These people came from everywhere.

The U.S.

Japan.

Germany.

And they weren’t just in their 20s. People in their 40s, 60s, and 80s. 

On the surface, they didn’t have much in common.

But all these people sprawled across the world, who spoke different languages, who were born in different eras, who had never interacted with each other … All these people felt the same desire — the desire to take control of their lives — deep in their core.

So here’s my promise to you:

You are not alone.

For me, it was that feeling of a quarter-life crisis. General malaise over the direction of my life. And as I started to talk about it, not a day went by where I didn’t hear from someone who said, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know I feel the same way.” 

Since we’re bombarded with images of success, it’s easy to forget we’re not alone in our struggles.

• “Wow, that person is making a lot of money. Why aren’t I?”

• “Those people seem like they love their jobs. I wish I felt that way.”

• “All my friends are getting married and having kids. Why am I so far behind?”

Pick any emotion. Pick any circumstance.

No matter what you’re feeling, millions of people around the world have felt — or are feeling — the same way.

Feeling this way — feeling aimless, confused, behind — is just a symptom of being human. Being open about personal struggles is starting to hit the mainstream, but it’s still far more infrequent than boasting about successes. 

And as a result, it’s easy to feel isolated and to think that our struggles make us less.

You aren’t. They don’t. 

Look, the concerns I’ve had about my career and my life path aren’t really a quarter-life crisis. As one guest kindly pointed out to me, I’d have to live to 112 for that to have been 25% of my life.

Those concerns are just … life. And concern about your direction doesn’t illustrate that you’re lost — it illustrates that you care enough to want more.

Before I stepped off my previous life path, I fought constant internal battles. I felt stranded. I always wished I could talk to someone who felt what I felt. But I wasn’t sure anyone else did.

Then as soon as I started talking about it, I heard from scores of people who felt the same way.

Big or small, gleeful or miserable, exciting or dull — remember: 

No matter what you’re going through, you’re not alone.